When the holiday season rolls around I get a little nostalgic for the simpler times. One of those memories that popped into my head this week was growing up using a party line.

 

For those of you who are unfamiliar with party lines, let me explain.  The phone company, with their infinite wisdom, decided it would create a feeling of unified community if every neighborhood  shared one phone line.  Through the miracle of early technology they were able to create different codes of rings for each household.  One family might have one ring and another two rings, for example.  Now the idea was that when your ring would jangle, you would answer the phone.  If the neighbors ring code  burst forth, you were to politely ignore the intrusion on your quiet and solitude. It was a great system.  So much room for fun and mischief.

 

I'm not really sure who was on our party line besides a neighboring family and an old widow. 

 

The family we shared with had daughters.  Those daughters had boyfriends.  Now, I was only about 8 or 9 years old, so I thought all that mushy stuff was pretty gross, and terribly interesting.  It required great skill to listen in.  First you would hear their ring (2 short jingles), then you would wait about 30 seconds.  (Pick up too quick and they would hear you, pick up too slow and they would already be done talking.) Then, pick up the receiver while holding down the button. Then, most critically, very very slowly release the button.  Most of the time we could do this without detection.  Then listen......("so..... what do you want to do?", ".......I don't care","......Can I come over?", ".......sure")  It was terribly exciting and so fun to be the spy.  Wow, teenagers sure talked about exciting things.  The trick was to not lose control and let out a snicker or a snort.  That would tip off the love-birds and end the call.

 

One of the hardest parts about having a party line was trying to run a business using it.  My dad's retail business was in this predicament.  If you needed to make a call you were supposed to slowly lift the receiver and listen for a dial tone.  If instead you heard talking you were to hang up and try again later.  On one occasion my dad was in a hurry to make an important phone call.  He lifted the phone and heard our old neighbor widow lady talking to another older lady.  He hung up and paced for about 8 seconds when he tried it again.  Still talking, so he hung up (not too quietly) and paced for about 5 seconds and picked it up again. Now, my dad was a little short-changed when they were handing out patience, and it unfortunately showed that day.

 

When he picked up the phone the last time he heard, "Who keeps picking up the phone?". My dad responded, "Well if you old heifers wouldn't tie up the phone so much I wouldn't have to."

 

"Heifers?, who are you calling heifers? Who is this?"      ~Click~   My dad replaced the receiver. And then he didn't dare use the phone, for then they would know who he was.