The older I get the more I think I understand some things.  I think I "get it" why my mom would sigh when we used to ask her for things.  I think I understand why my dad would get impatient when we didn't weed the garden the way he wanted.  Back then I didn't think it mattered how fast or slow I went.  Now I get it.

 

Just like the cliche that you don't really know someone until you walk a mile in their shoes.  I guess cliches are cliches for a reason.  They are true.  As I approach my birthday I am finding myself reflecting on my experiences of the last year.  There are a few other things that I finally get.

 

We've all heard stories about children who have been abducted or lost.  Heart wrenching stories.  The family at first is upset and panicky, yet optimistic about recovery, then as the hours roll on without success they are enfulfed in pain.  If the child is not found the grief-stricken parents just want to know what happened.

 

I lost Oscar, my dog, last year.  He's just a dog. He was sometimes naughty, sometimes fun, and sometimes a pain in the derriere.  One day he followed the neighbor's dogs and was gone.  The neighbor's dogs came back, but not Oscar.  We searched and called for hours that night.  It is cold in Idaho in November.   There was snow on the ground, and he was an inside dog.   I went to bed that night without finding him.  I searched for him all the next day.  The whole time I was looking for him I kept thinking that if I hurt this much over a stupid dog how much more must parents of lost children hurt.  That's when I started to understand them.  Just a particle. I don't pretend to have their pain.  I just glimpsed at it.  He was just a dog, not a child.

 

My husband, a schoolteacher, announced to all the students in his school that we were offfering a reward for our lost dog.  We put up flyers around town, and an ad in the newspaper.  People were so kind.  They called and called with hints and sightings.  How often had I glanced at posters, not really looking at them?  That would change.  After one tip we took off in the car and found him a mile away, covered with snow, trudging down the middle of the country road whimpering.

 

Ours was a happy ending. And I did learn some things.

#1. Pay attention to "lost" posters.  Study the pictures and look at faces in the crowd.  You may be the one to find and bring someone home.

#2. Be compassionate to other's pain.  If you haven't had the same pain, don't dismiss theirs and think it's not real.  Be grateful you haven't had to experience it.

#3. And, lock up your dog.