Some people just have style.  They can put together an outfit that has pizazz.  I'm not one of them.

My problem is one of two things.

#1. Either I'm so in tune with the people I work with that I am picking up their thought wave patterns while choosing my work outfit for the day,

or #2.  I don't have an original thought in my head and therefore subconsciously copy other people's outfits. 

Either way it has made for some embarrassing days in the office. 

        And these are just a few of those embarrassing moments. 

I was too embarrassed the rest of the time to have a picture taken.

Tonight I dropped Mike off at the airport.  He's on his way to San Diego to attend a Social Studies teacher's conference.  On our way we passed this awesome sculpture in the middle of a round-about. It's usually a fountain with these brass eagles flying, but today it was an ice sculpture.  Brrrr

I think I'll go have some hot chocolate.

Whenever I see the sun setting I get nostalgic.  I don't know why unless it is like a reflection on my life. 

Something drawing to a close.

Did it show beauty

or storms,

or is it dull and lifeless.

Maybe that's why I love the vivid brightness to colorful sunsets.

I'm hoping that I go out like that.

In a blaze of color.

• I thought I was an alien placed on this planet.  I didn't have anything in common with anyone around me.  It was a secret.  No one knew I was an alien, but I did because of the strange line on the back side of my knees.  I knew those marks to be "stitching" scars from when I was placed in this body so that I could blend in.
• When I tried to go to sleep at night I could sometimes hear my heart beating.  This was very disturbing to me because I then worried that it would stop beating.  I was afraid to go to sleep because then I wouldn't be awake to start my heart back up if it stopped beating. (how I thought I was going to restart my own heart I have no idea.)  I was always very relieved in the morning to discover that I hadn't died during the night.
• Abby said she was afraid that a bad man would come into our house at night and kill us all in our sleep.  She would lay with her head UNDER her pillow so that if someone came in they would see that she was missing a head and was clearly already dead, thus leaving her alone.  She said it was very hard to breathe under that pillow.

  Does everyone have these quirky things they did? or thought? 

I don't want to be accused of wishing my life away, so let me just go on record right now that I am not 50 years old.  I'm super super close, but not quite there.

When I was 15 years old I'm afraid I was guilty of the wishing away game.  I wanted to be 16 years old SO badly.  There were a few reasons, chief among them was that at 16 I would be allowed to date!  and secondly I would be able to drive at night.  In Idaho you could get your daytime driver's license at 14.  It has to do with being a rural state and farmer's needing their kids to drive farm equipment at an early age.  I was licensed at 14.5 years old.  But no one is allowed to drive at night until they turn 16.  That was a really big milestone in my life.  Driving at night and dating.

I spent my entire 15th year wishing I would turn 16.  I had a countdown calendar.  I had written on every date for the year a number - the number of days until I turned 16.  It was not a good way to spend part of my life.

I don't want to be guilty of that again, so here I am......49 and proud of it!

Incident #1 - Yesterday Mike and I drove to the next biggest town over to do some Christmas shopping.  We made some good progress, priced some things, bought some things, and then headed home.  It was a dark and rainy night, (sounds like the beginning to a bad novel), and we are cruising down the freeway going about 70 miles per hour.  We were just talking and having a good time. All of a sudden I saw what looked like a car coming the opposite direction with its lights off.  I looked again (visibility was poor) and saw that it was probably an abandoned car just parked on the side of the road.  I told Mike that I thought I saw a car driving with it's headlights off and he said, "like this?" and TURNED OUR HEADLIGHTS OFF!!!

Oh my gosh!  It was so dark and I started freaking out.  He turned them right back on, but I was scared! Our headlights were off for about a second, but that was way too long.  There weren't very many cars on the road, which is why I guess he thought it was okay.  But we were going 70 miles an hour.  Do you know how much ground you cover in a second going 70 miles an hour? 

Incident #2 - While I was sitting in church this morning my mind started to wander.  It happens. I'm not perfect, hahaha.  This is how my train of thought went;

     "Wow, Andy sure is tall.  It's too bad he can't play on the school team anymore, but his knee just couldn't take it.  It's been about a year since he hurt it.  When was that?  Let's see.  They just posted the team a couple of days ago, and Andy hurt his knee on the first day of practice after posting the team last year.  And it was just 2 days after Nathan was born. So yeah, I guess it's been just over a year. Come to think of it he hurt his knee on our anniversary.  OH MY GOSH!!! It was our anniversary on Friday!  I forgot!  So did Mike!"

I wrote a note to Mike telling him we forgot something.  He immediately insisted that he remembered.  I thought it was odd he didn't say anything, but whatever.  Then after church I came home to find a cake and card on our dining room table.  "Happy 28th Anniversary" was the message on top.   I looked at Mike and told him he was a naughty boy for skipping church to go shopping on Sunday.  He just got a guilty sheepish look on his face and said that he bought it on Friday.  Right.   

I don't care.  I know we've both been pretty tied up.  It's a miracle we remembered it at all. 

Wednesday - November 14

Nathan turned 1 this week.  I can't believe it's been a year, and I also can't believe he hasn't always been a part of our family. It's a dichotomy.

We had a little party at our house.  My Mom and Dad came and as you can see, My Dad is looking pretty darn good.  Mom has always looked good.  And I know she'll be mad at me for showing her eating, but everyone eats, right?  Just look at that hair of hers.  She's 76 years old and doesn't dye her hair.  I'm turning 50 and haven't dyed my hair yet.  Thanks Mom.  Thanks for giving me your hair genes and not letting Dad give me his No Hair genes.

Nathan seemed to really like the great flashlight I got him.  It looks like a lion and roars when it's mouth opens up.  Nathan spent the rest of the evening roaring right back at it whenever he happened to glance at it.  Cute!

Emily left right after the party to go perform in a concert.  She is an accomplished flutist and had many solo parts which she did very well.  David, Abby and I went to watch.

Saturday - November 10

I woke up and thought it would be a great day to go.  Where was I going to go?  I didn't really know.  I've been driving this little rental car that gets great gas mileage, so I thought I might take advantage of it and do a bit of exploring.  I headed north past our world famous sand dunes.  I knew about a place called the Civil Defense Caves and had been there 1 time about 10 years ago on a school field trip with Andy.  I wasn't really sure how to get there, as the road is not marked very well.  After driving for about 20 minutes across a very deserted stretch of road I saw a pile of boulders off to the right that had yellow paint sprayed on them.  I vaguely remembered this as the turn off and took it.  The road rapidly deteriorated.  It was dirt, windy and rutted with lava rocks, sagebrush and holes all around.  I could only go about 5-10 miles an hour and felt sometimes that was too fast.  I followed this road for another 15 minutes or so.  I started to feel more and more how vulnerable I was.  I was a woman all alone in a car out in the middle of the desert.  I passed 1 pickup on this road that had an older couple in it.  I knew that if someone meant to do me harm I would be pretty helpless, but at that point I didn't care.  I needed a little adventure and didn't want to play it totally safe anymore.  Just as I was about to give up and turn around I found the cave.

  I knew I wouldn't be climbing down inside the cave because I was alone.  If I'd gotten hurt there would be no one there to help me.  I just wanted to find it.

  Why is it called the Civil Defense Cave?  Good question.  I think it has something to do with the Cuban Missile Crisis and some harebrained idea that our little town would go survive in the cave.  Maybe not, but that's what I heard.

   It's hard to tell scale without a person in the picture, but it is a very large cave.  I could walk into the opening by just ducking my head a little bit. When I came with Andy's class we all went in and hiked to the back of the cave and then turned off our flashlights.  It was pitch black. This is a very popular spot with the college students.  They come here and explore.  Our geology students come to this and to the ice caves. 

When I finally got back onto the paved road I turned once again to the north.  I'd overheard one of our professors tell someone about a cinder cone volcano located out that way.  It had "gem quality plagioclase" on it among the cinders.  I decided to go have a look.  I drove for about 40 miles or so and only passed 2 other vehicles on the road.  Finally I came to the volcano.  It was exactly as he described.  I drove around to the back side and took the road up to the top.  They do active mining for cinders there, but it was deserted that day.  I drove as far as I could and then hiked the rest of the way to the top. The cinders were loose and sharp.  I was glad I had gloves and a coat with me.  I scrambled up the shifting cinders on all fours.  When I reached the summit I could see forever in every direction.  It was windy and cold up there, and I was the only person around for miles.  I hadn't a clue what a "plagioclase" looked like, but I poked around for a while, picked up some interesting things and then returned to my car and drove home. 

I'm so glad I did it.  I came back invigorated.  I now know what a plagioclase looks like and was pleasantly surprised to find that one of my samples actually had a little piece of one.  I think next time I go I will swing east afterward and end up in Island Park. 

One of our students drew me a map to a nice cache of garnets.

I was not disappointed.

You tend to get pre-conceived ideas about how people will act or sound in real life when you see their picture.  I've been seeing Orson Scott Card's picture for 15 years or so, on the inside back cover of every book of his that I've read. 

My mind did not do justice to the man.  When I looked at his picture I envisioned someone like the neighborhood mailman or the reporter for the local newspaper.  My internal ears imagined a voice that was a bit on the mousy high side, like a weak tenor.

Not the case.

His voice was a deep rich bass reminiscent of James Earl Jones.  His speech on "Being a Hero" was fascinating.  With a BA degree in Theater Arts and a MA degree in English he had the ability to mesmerize the audience.  His verbal stories were as smart and captivating as his written words.  His voice would go suddenly high and squeaky in an imitation of one of the characters he was portraying, and then would drop 2 octaves as he drove the point home. He had us laughing one second and silent in contemplative thought the next. 

I'm so glad I went.  I feel inspired and motivated to reach some of my goals that have been simmering on the forgotten grill in the back yard.  It's okay that I didn't get his autograph in the books I took.  I chose not to.  He said he would gladly stay after until every book was signed (if we really felt the need to have proof that we actually met him.) That the real treasure was inside the covers in the words that he wrote. 

He's right.  The real gift was already given,

in the stories,

the books,

and in today marvelous speech.

Tomorrow will be a great day. 

A super fantastic day.

A day to make up for yesterday.

A super bad crummy day.

Tomorrow at 2:00

I

will be sitting

as close to the front of the room

as I can get.

To see

my very most favorite

author

of my entire life.

Yes, Orson Scott Card will be here!

Tomorrow!!!

I'm pumped!!!!!

I know Einstein was a pretty smart fellow.  His theory of relativity has been the subject of countless studies and debates.  I don't doubt his theory, I just have one of my own.

The average life span of a human being is approximately 77 years, according to Wikipedia. 

That number causes time to become relatively LARGER the younger the person experiencing it is.

For example:

To a 80 year old man;  1 year equals 1 year

To a 40 year old man;   1 year equals 2 years

To a 10 year old boy;  1 year equals almost 8 years

To a 1 year old baby;  1 year equals 80 years.

It's all relative.

No wonder I'm having such a hard time getting everything done these days.  Time really is speeding up on me.

One of the perks of my job comes every Monday morning at 10:30.  Like clockwork my boss, the department chair, opens his door and says, "are you ready?"

The secretary and I go into his office where we spend 30 minutes doing a "sync".  That is, we make sure everyone knows what's coming up, what needs to be done, and how to get things done with a little more efficiently.

The best part comes at the end of our session.

He will lean back in his chair lacing his fingers together, and peer at us over his glasses.

"What do you want to learn about today?"

So far we have been privately tutored in the scientific method, the age of the earth and what it is made of clear down to the core, and how they figured all that out. Our latest lessons have been about atoms.

I wish I was smart enough to understand quantum physics.  The subject has always fascinated me.  One of my favorite books is The Dancing Wu Li Masters by Gary Zukov.  It is basically a "Quantum Physics for Dummies". 

So I was very excited when our last discussion was on bonds at the atomic level.  There are basically 2 kinds of bonds; ionic and covalent. 

Ionic bonds are loners.  They want, they take, and then they are happy.  But their bond is easily broken.

Covalent bonds are sharers. They merge with another, sharing the piece that is lacking in both.  The result is a bond that is difficult to break.

One of the things that happens in my head while I am learning something new is that I immediately find myself linking that knowledge up with something seemingly unrelated.

And Monday was no exception.  I immediately thought of people. 

Some are loners. 

They feel that there is something missing and seek it.  When they find the missing piece they grab hold tightly, thinking that they are now happy.

But they are still alone.  They are unstable and easily broken.

And then there are those people who have something missing in their lives.  And they find those missing pieces in other people.  And they take a risk by opening themselves up, and bonds are formed.

The stronger the bond the more stable the person, and the more unbreakable. 

I feel so blessed to be in some covalent bonds.

with my husband

my kids

my parents

my friends

We each give and we each receive.  And life is so much richer because of it.

~A VERY heavy snowfall that was fun to be in. The flakes were huge! And the best part was that it all melted within a day.

~ Nathan, my grandson starts to walk! How fun is that to see him toddling around? Nothing cuter than a new little walker.

~ My dad had his trach removed. It took him almost a month to relearn to eat and not hate it, but he’s doing so well. You just never know. My lesson from this whole ordeal is “you just never know!” Don’t ever give up.

~We were able to get Mom and Dad back on their health care plan. The best blessing of all is that for the month he wasn’t covered he DIDN’T GET SICK!!! What a blessing.

~Lisa and I went to a craft day and had a lot of fun together.

~ I’ve really enjoyed every day in my psychology class, even though I’m not really doing well on my tests.

~ It’s a big blessing that I don’t really CARE what I get on my tests. I’m just having a great time learning.

~ The students in the class that turn in their assignments so creatively. Today’s assignments were handed in on brown paper lunch bags. Last week they were turned in on the back of labels cut from good cans.

~Abby didn’t get hurt too badly in her car accident. She’s wearing a neck brace for a few hours a day but seems to be doing a lot better.

~That I was able to go to the Halloween concert and see Abby play. It was a fun concert.

~ For Joisey. What a blessing it has been to have her for a friend. I can’t wait to see what the future brings. It’s so nice to have someone who gets your humor, knows your pain, and cares.

It’s been a great month. I have been blessed to be able to enjoy my favorite season with good health and good relationships.

I've been stuck.

Not much art coming out of this chicky.  I've been doing my daily calendar pages, but that's about it.  I've been getting vibes in the last little while.

Art Vibes. 

And they're getting stronger.

Last week I had a vibe that registered a 9.0 on the Richter's scale.

Now I'm getting excited.  I don't want to be here at work, I want to go home and work on my idea. 

I read this today,

"Artists block is spiritual constipation"

I think the creative X-Lax is kicking in. 

Wish me luck.

My poor dog.  I could tell something was wrong. 

When we played his favorite game of fetch we would throw the toy

and Oscar would dash away after it.

He started coming back more and more often without the toy.

Then one day, he dashed after it and ran smack dab into the wall.

Poor Oscar

I would hold out a favorite doggy bone to him and he would politely take it out of my hand and trot over to his favorite spot to eat it.

Crunch, crunch, crunch.  He would chomp away at it, enjoying it immensely, and then he would come back for another one.

But Oscar, there is still a big piece of your bone right there.  To your right a little, a little more, a little more,  ......there!  Good boy, Oscar, you got it.

When Aunt Joisey sent Oscar some special doggy treats and the only way I could tell which end to hold those treats up to was by the black button nose, I decided something needed to be done.

    Oscar LOVED Aunt Joisey's treats.

     LOVED them!!!   Thanks Auntie!

Today was the day.

Mike took him away this morning.  Joni brought him back home this afternoon.

He's CURED!!!!

and he's acting like one happy puppy dog!

Burns is not impressed.

I had to take a photo.  I'm not usually up early enough to see one.  {{smile}}